The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to mine was free, my male ego soared. Soon we were chatting pleasantly, and she told me it was her first flight."Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously, "and you look just like my dad."   --Roy Ragsdale

Duracell Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

Touring Ireland's countryside with a group of travel writers, we passed an immaculate cemetery with hundreds of beautiful headstones set in a field of emerald green grass. Everyone reached for their cameras when the tour guide said the inventor of the crossword puzzle was buried there. He pointed out the location, "Three down and four across."    --Steve Bauer

One of the less difficult blanks to fill in on our job-agency application is "Position Wanted." One job seeker wrote "Sitting." --Flo Traywick

After J. K. Rowling announced that she might write a Harry Potter sequel—he was last seen as a married dad—The Week asked its readers to predict the title of the next book. Here’s what they divined: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fiber Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Ask-Your-Mom Harry Potter and the Financial Portfolio of Doom Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Kidney Stone Harry Potter and the Quest to Buy a House in the Hogwarts School District Harry Potter and the Quidditch Mom

One Sunday I asked our pastor to announce that the church softball team had won its league championship. As he did, he asked team members to stand up. Although there were usually ten to twelve of us at Sunday service, I was embarrassed to see only four of us standing. Not missing a beat, the pastor continued, "And what is most amazing is that they won with such a small team."    --Jeff Lake

My nutritionist told me, “The good news is that you can have all the salad you want.” I said, “Salad is not a food. Salad comes with the food. Salad is a promissory note that food will soon arrive.” – John Pinette