My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane. Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: "We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time."   A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."    --Roy Schmidt

Employed as a dental receptionist, I was on duty when an extremely nervous patient came for root-canal surgery. He was brought into the examining room and made comfortable in the reclining dental chair. The dentist then injected a numbing agent around the patient's tooth, and left the room for a few minutes while the medication took hold.When the dentist returned, the patient was standing next to a tray of dental equipment. "What are you doing by the surgical instruments?" asked the surprised dentist. Focused on his task, the patient replied, "I'm taking out the ones I don't like." --Paula Fontaine

The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of the church lot, not wanting to be ostentatious. While talking with friends, my husband, Byron, accidentally hit the panic button on his electronic key. Immediately our car's horn blared and its lights flashed. Watching Byron fumble with the button, his friend teased, "Wouldn't it have been in better taste to put a few lines in the church bulletin?"    --Dona A. Mowry

As I left my office at the National Cancer Institute, I passed one of our researchers by the front door puffing away on a cigarette. "How can you smoke when you, of all people, know the harm caused by cigarettes?" I asked. He took another draw, exhaled, and replied through the smoke, "Because it gives me more motivation to find a cure." --Steven Zhang

A letter I received from my son stationed in Baghdad: Mom, Yesterday I was part of a security detail for Kid Rock, Kellie Pickler, and comedian Lewis Black. This morning, I had breakfast with the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders. War is hell. Johnny

At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. "This thing is great," he bragged to my brother. "It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn. It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!" --Diane Hardy

Sam's eighth birthday, my brother took him to a football game. During halftime, a Marine band played, and Sam studied them intently. "Why the interest in the band?" his father asked. "I'm checking to see if Ben and Matt from our synagogue are in it. They're Marines." "But they're in Afghanistan." "If I were in a marching band, I'd say I was in Afghanistan too." -- Chana Pawliger