While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair.Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too." --Steve Anderson

A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays."l --Neil P. Budge

I was delighted to discover that I could play compact discs in the new computer my company had given me. One morning I was enjoying one of my favorite Beethoven pieces when an administrative assistant stopped by to deliver a stack of papers. Hearing classical music filling the air, she stopped and exclaimed, "Poor you. They put you on hold?"    --Keith Brinton

Football finally makes sense. A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience."Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?""Well, they flipped a coin. One team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I'm like, Hello-o-o? It's only 25 cents!" --Melissa Jones

Fresh out of gift ideas, a man buys his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he buys her nothing, so she lets him have it. "What are you complaining about?" he fires back. "You still haven't used the present I gave you last year." --L.B. Weinstein

The day I knew my in-laws had finally accepted me: As we pulled into their driveway, my father-in-law was on the phone. "Oh, I have to run," he told the person on the other end. "My daughter-in-law and her husband just arrived." --Kathy Dierker

Expenses were out of control at our data supply company, and our bosses weren't happy."When you travel," the vice president said in a meeting with his sales force, "lunch can't be expensed. Lunch is a normal employee cost. And while we're on the topic, your dinner expenses have been way too high."A rep shouted, "That's because we don't eat lunch." --Charles Fender