A Good End

“For terminally ill people it’s a very lonely, isolated experience because no-one else really can know what it’s like to know that time is limited,” says Suzanne Clementi, a counsellor at Brisbane’s Karuna Hospice Service, which offers home-based palliative care. “Everyone tries to protect themselves by not talking about it. Often I find it’s the people who are more honest and talk about it openly who are the ones who cope better.” ""Medical intervention can often control pain, yet the lack of awareness about how to die well that troubles health advocates. Palliative Care Australia CEO Donna Daniell says many Australians are unsure what to expect at the end of their lives: they don’t know where to find support, and they fail to plan in advance. “We need to get the conversation going so we can work towards a better death,” she says.

Here, four people who are facing death talk about their experiences:

Catherine Treister, 62,
Sydney, New South Wales

My GP was the one who gave me the death sentence. Pancreatic cancer. At first I just went into shock. I had watched my father die a horrible death of the same thing at 69, and I’d seen friends go through chemotherapy. I remember saying to my doctor that I didn’t want any treatment. She replied, “There isn’t any.”

The first round of calls was from people who said they had cures. I had a lot to think about without worrying about looking for alternative medicine or anything like that. I have a few friends who will not discuss death, which I find inhibiting. Others say, “Are you feeling positive today?” Of course I’m not feeling bloody positive.

I have always been a very materialistic person. I regret now that I concentrated so much on material things, as they really don’t give you that much joy. The most joy I get is from people I love and care about.

I was single until the age of 52, when I met Ted. We had never known what love was all about until we met. So I’ve had my share of miracles. My life was so hard at the beginning and now at the end it’s good. I’m just sad it can’t carry on. Sometimes I feel I’m going to go out on a bad note as I feel like I’m getting so cross with Ted. He says I’m not, but I know I’m very hard on him and he’s very distressed.