Every year, there’s a soccer game between our marketing department and support staff. And every year, the support staff win. Or so they thought – until the spin doctors took over.“The marketing department is pleased to announce,” read a memo issued to all employees after the game, “that for the 2005 soccer season, we came in second place, having lost but one game all year. “The support department, however, had a dismal season, as they won only one game.”

Michelle Rodriguez

Helping a student with a maths problem, I saw the pencil she was using was decorated with the Ten Commandments.“I like your pencil,” I told her. “Yeah, me too,” she said. “That’s why I stole it from my brother.”

Jennifer Ripple

What were they thinking? Has that phrase ever crossed your mind when reading a book title? The Diagram Group gives out awards to people who spot the strangest titles. Here are some:

• Do It Yourself Brain Surgery and Other Home Skills

• Entertaining with Insects: The Original Guide to Insect Cookery

• The Voodoo Revenge Book: An Anger Management Programme You can Really Stick With

From The World’s Worsts by Les Krantz and Sue Sveum

A young man, whose one-line résumé showed a stint at a fast-food restaurant, filled in our employment application, which consisted of three questions: “Why do you want to work here?”, “What strengths would you bring here?” and “What did you dislike about your previous employment?”

Skipping the first two, he answered the last question, “Pickles and onions.”            

Paige Sanderson