Reader's Digest Interactive
My niece, Jaime, came with me to the chiropractor. He had just finished with my therapy and I was paying when his demanding wife stormed in. She gave him a long list of errands to do while he stood there meekly saying, “Yes, dear.”
Later 11-year- old Jaime said, “Interesting.”
“What?” I asked.
“A chiropractor without a backbone.”
Jessica Dwyer
I had just pulled into a parking spot at a huge home-improvement shop when smoke and flames began pouring from under my bonnet.
Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first shop assistant I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the courtesy counter.
“Please help,” I gasped. “My car’s on fire! I need a fire extinguisher.”
Without even looking up, he replied, “Aisle 12.”
Nicholas Bancalari
Just before I was to have a test, my doctor handed me an examining gown. “I can never remember with these things,” I said. “Does the opening go in the front or the back?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t win either way.”
Kathryn Folsom
Nina, my three-year-old great-granddaughter, had learnt the word expensive, and she was using it to describe everything.
I had to ask her. “Sweetheart, do you know what expensive means?”
“Yes,” she said. “It means you don’t need it.”
Margaret Greenfield
Ewwwww. I had to look away. The builder placing a sign outside a block of flats had let his shorts ride way, way too low in the back, giving the world a sight it could do without. I laughed, though, when I read what was on the sign he was putting up: “Moon Apartments.”
K.L.
Sheila, a friend of mine, recently went to a Greek party where the custom was to break plates and give each guest a piece to bring good fortune.
Sheila put hers in her handbag. “Did it bring you luck?” I asked her a while later.
“No, not really,” she admitted. “Every time I put my hand in the bag, I cut my finger.”
Barry Marcus
For years my father and my uncle tolerated the squeamish, fidgety fishing crew of small daughters, even going out of their way to include us. Fifty years later, my aunt produced a photo of me and my cousin carrying a line of fish.
“Gee, Dad,” I said as I passed him the picture, “We girls must have been a real pain to have along. What great dads you were.”
“The fishing licence limit was eight fish per person,” he confessed with a grin. “Even children counted.”
Cathy Molitor
On the way to the shops, my husband forgot to watch the speedometer and predictably we were pulled over. Our four-year-old son, Eric, watched with interest as the policeman handed his dad a ticket.
We completed our shopping and were on our way home when Eric piped up, “Dad, you know that piece of paper the policeman gave you? I think he wants it back.”
Sure enough, the same officer was trailing us, lights flashing and about to give us a second speeding ticket in one day.
Irmgard Starrs
My dog plopped into my lap, accidentally speed-dialling the emergency number on the mobile phone in my pocket. Moments later the phone rang. “This is the fire brigade. We received a call from this number. Is everything there OK?”
Quickly I realised what had happened. “I’m fine. My dog must have punched your number.”
The voice on the other end inquired, “And how is your dog?”
Constance Strow
Not that I needed reminding, but time flies much too fast. When I was a teenager, I used to whine to my parents, “Just once I would like to see the Rolling Stones in concert before I die.”
The other day my 13-year-old son, an aspiring rock star, blew my mind with this: “Dad, I’d like to see the Rolling Stones just once before they die.”
Jess MacCallum
After years of being a widow, I recently married a lovely man. All of a sudden I went from being Belinda Priest to Belinda Bishop. It may not have the same cachet as Belinda Pope, but I’m not complaining.
Belinda Bishop
Del.icio.us
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Scenic Wonders of Australia
Gambling with their Lives
HealthSmart Awards
Managing Your Health
