Sadly, in the nightclub world, bald singers don’t fare well – hence my reason for buying a hairpiece. When I asked my accountant if I could write off the toupee as an expense, he hesitated. Then he changed his mind.

“All right,” he said finally, “I’ll put it down as an overhead.”

George Simpkin

 

Everyone knows I’m a stickler for good spelling. So when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to “decifer” them, I set him straight.

“Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f,” I wrote. “In case you’ve forgotten, a spellchecker comes free with your wordprocessor.”

A minute later came his reply: “Must be dephective.”

Teresa Fisher

 

After transporting hospital patients from one floor to the next, I stopped to chat with a new volunteer.

“I work in patient transfer,” I told him. “I push people around.”

Not the type to be one-upped, he countered, “I work at the information desk. I tell them where to go.”        

Ralph Johnson

I had to voice my concern when a colleague said she found dates using the internet.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “I always insist we meet at a miniature golf course.”

“Why there?” I asked.

“First, it’s a public spot,” she said. “Second, it’s in broad daylight. And third, I have a club in my hand.” 

Linda Akins