Vote a Joke Into Reader's Digest! August 2008 |

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Poll:

Vote a Joke into Readers Digest August 2008

We’re always being sent contributions for our phenomenally popular Laughter, The Best Medicine section. Some of the jokes are obvious winners. Some of the jokes are ancient, are unfit for public consumption or just don’t make the grade (and occasionally, all three). And then there are the rest: the jokes that get our Jokes Editor scratching his chin and wondering, “Is this one good enough to print?” Now you can help him choose. We’ve picked five jokes from the “maybe” pile. Vote for the one you think is the best. The top-rated joke as of August 15, 2008 will be published in the magazine – and net its author $150.

<table width="65%" border="0" cellspacing="5" cellpadding="5"> <tr> <td width="12%" height="73" valign="top"><img src="/global/AU/images/au/icon_punch.jpg" align="left"></td> <td width="88%" valign="top"><p><em>At the over-50s get-together, several ladies said I was very light on their feet. </em></p> <p align="right"><em>Ralph Schroder, Collaroy, NSW</em></p> </td> </tr> </table> <table width="65%" border="0" cellspacing="5" cellpadding="5"> <tr> <td width="12%" height="73" valign="top"><img src="/global/AU/images/au/icon_punch.jpg" align="left"></td> <td width="88%" valign="top"><p><em>Noticing a patron who was clearly depressed, a barman told him, “Don’t despair. I knew a bloke who owed $500 he couldn’t pay. He drove his vehicle to the edge of a cliff and sat for over an hour with his head resting on the steering wheel.<br> “A group of concerned people heard of his problem and had a whip-around for the money. He thanked them and reversed away from the cliff edge.”<br> “That was kind of them,” said the patron. “Who were they?”<br> “The passengers on the bus,” replied the barman.</em></p> <p align="right"><em>Patrick Broome, Helensvale, Qld</em></p> </td> </tr> </table> <table width="65%" border="0" cellspacing="5" cellpadding="5"> <tr> <td width="12%" height="73" valign="top"><img src="/global/AU/images/au/icon_punch.jpg" align="left"></td> <td width="88%" valign="top"><p><em>Asked if she was a widow, an elderly woman replied, “No, I’ve never married. I have a dog that growls, a parrot that swears, a fireplace that smokes and a cat that stays out all night. Why on earth would I need a husband?”</em></p> <p align="right"><em>Shirley Finn, Huntly, Qld</em></p> </td> </tr> </table> <table width="65%" border="0" cellspacing="5" cellpadding="5"> <tr> <td width="12%" height="73" valign="top"><img src="/global/AU/images/au/icon_punch.jpg" align="left"></td> <td width="88%" valign="top"><p><em>“What do you want out of life?” a teacher asked her pupils.<br> “Just four animals,” one girl said.<br> “Really?” said the teacher. “Which animals?”<br> The girl replied, “A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it.”</em></p> <p align="right"><em>Sandra Sherwell, Yarrawarrah, NSW</em></p> </td> </tr> </table> <table width="65%" border="0" cellspacing="5" cellpadding="5"> <tr> <td width="12%" height="73" valign="top"><img src="/global/AU/images/au/icon_punch.jpg" align="left"></td> <td width="88%" valign="top"><p><em>Little Johnny came home from school very happy and told his mother, “I learnt to write today!”<br> “That’s excellent,” his mother said. “What did you write?”<br> “Dunno,” replied Johnny. “I haven’t learnt to read yet.”</em></p> <p align="right"><em>Stefan Raicu, Bankstown, NSW</em></p> </td> </tr> </table>

Poll created on 2008/07/17
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Poll:

Vote a Joke into Readers Digest August 2008

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