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Dustin Hoffman Has a Secret

A movie star who shuns Hollywood in favour of the wife and kids?

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Dustin Hoffman is so good at playing outsiders because, he says, he is one. Like Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate, Raymond Babbitt in Rain Man or any of the other misfits he's portrayed, he has had "this feeling of being on the periphery looking in" since he was a boy. "It's difficult for me to go to celebrity functions," he says. "My wife knows better than anyone."

Hoffman has been married to Lisa Gottsegen, a lawyer, for 27 years. He dotes on his six grown children, and, at 70, says he's still thrilled to be an actor.
Reader's Digest tracked him down to talk about the new animated film Kung Fu Panda, to which he contributes the voice of a small red martial arts master.

Q. You've said before that you never felt you belonged in Hollywood.

A. In school, I was not in the "in" group. For a long time, I carried that with me. My success was thrust on me - I always called it a freak accident because I entered acting with no thought of fame or fortune.


Q. Can you say what the secret of a long marriage is?

A. There's so much about marriage that's unnatural. I don't think it's natural to be monogamous, to be as in love as you were the day before. But does fidelity make sense? Yes. And I don't think that you can substitute honesty in any relationship.


Q. So are you absolutely honest with your wife?

A.That's the aim. If you're both working to be honest, the marriage gets better and better. Love becomes deeper.
It's because you know the game - meaning life - is limited. I say to my wife, "I don't have enough time. There's not going to be enough time with you."


Q. In the movie, your kung fu student's father runs a noodle shop and he tells his son that he uses a secret ingredient to make his delicious soups. Do you know what it is?

A. I'm going to reveal a family secret. When I was a little boy, there was a woman who worked for us on occasion. I loved her dearly and kept the relationship even after I grew up. I didn't like to eat when I was a kid, but she had her tricks. She would put together a dish, and I would taste it and say, "This is really good. What's in it?" She'd answer, "Hubba hubba." She never told me what that was, but I suspect it was love. So the secret ingredient is probably hubba hubba.


Q. How do you feel about the famous-for-being-famous trend these days? For instance, Paris Hilton.

A. We used to vacation in Maui, Hawaii, and Paris hung out with my kids there. I've seen her recently, and she's just as sweet and polite as she was then. My kids say there's not a bad bone in her body. I don't know what crimes she's committed. The problem doesn't lie with her; it lies with us.


Q. What's your child-rearing advice?

A. You can't out-reason them. "Why do I have to? So-and-so doesn't have to." Finally it hit me, and I said, "The US is a democracy. This home is an autocracy. What I say, or Mommy says, goes. That means there's no why."


Q. If you ran for US president, what would you focus on ?

A. The fact that the other candidates don't touch on real issues - they're politicians. Their honesty goes only so far. How wonderful it would be to have a candidate who was intent on saying what he or she really believes.


Q. Your son Jake got you to appear in rap star 50 Cent's music video last year. What was that like?

A. Jake, who's an actor and director, and a DJ, knows rap from beginning to end. One morning he says, "50 Cent is filming a video tonight. They want you to do something." I said, "No no no." He said, "You can't turn this down!" We went to Culver City, where they were shooting. They said, "We want you to play a therapist." I held a watch and had to hypnotise
50 Cent. I quite loved it.


Q. What's the last joke that made you laugh out loud?

A. The CEO of McDonald's says to the Pope, "I'd like to give $500 million to the church, and all we ask in return is that for one year, you change the line in the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily Big Mac.'" The Pope says, "I can't." So the CEO says, "I can double it to a billion dollars." The Pope says, "Let me get back to you." He then tells the cardinals, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is we're going to receive a billion dollars from McDonald's for one year. The bad news is we blew our deal with Burger King."