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Daily Life Jokes

The Great Tweet-off: Kids’ Edition

A source of surprise, pain, comedy, wisdom and everything in between, this month we celebrate the joy (mostly) of children.

Sometimes, at night, after my son has gone to bed, I go... read more


The Great Tweet-off: Social Media Edition

Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube … for every new way we have to connect these days, there’s a joke to be made on the mother of them all: Twitter.

When you’ve got 5 minutes to... read more


Never looked better

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
... read more


Unsearchable

I was trying to teach my mother how to use the internet, but at 86 she felt she could carry on perfectly well without it. Determined to prove how good it was, I told her she could Google any... read more


Spitting image

I was showing off my drawing skills to my four-year-old one day. I would sketch different things and then ask him to recognise them. My boy was doing really well until I drew an angry face and he... read more


Poor reception

I recently took my wife on holidays to the north of England, and since our son was to join us for a few days, I texted him to bring fuel for the fire as it had turned decidedly chilly.
... read more


Blissfully lost

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my garden one afternoon. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he was well looked after. I gave him a few pats on the head and he followed me... read more


The Great Tweet-off: Wisdom edition

Time to check in with teenage wunder-tweeter @SixthFormPoet. His musing have been enjoyed by millions since he joined Twitter in February 2011, and he now has a book, The Sixth Form Poet: Deep... read more


Gun salesman

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.

“If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “what would you get... read more


Click to proceed

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.


A riot of readers

A pride of lions, a gaggle of geese, a parliament of owls – we asked RD readers to come up with a few collective nouns of their own. These were a crush of our favourites:

– A brace of... read more


Stick with it, Gramps

None of my grandsons share my corny sense of humour. When the family is eating lasagne, I say, “Lean over your plate, boys. You’ll get less-on-ya.” I say to the ten-year-old, “Don’t yell through... read more


Too little too late

This classified ad speaks volumes: “Wanted to buy: playpen, cradle, high chair; also two single beds.”


Flight of fancy

Did you know a bird is the only animal that you can throw and you’d be helping it?


Life’s mysteries

Questions on Yahoo that will destroy your faith in humanity:

– “Can I safely look at a picture of the sun?”

– “How can I be sure I’m the real mum of my kid?”
... read more


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