RDAU_2026-ISSUE0809_DIGITAL MAGAZINE

What happened when two silkworms got into a fight? It ended in a tie. —Submitted by Alice Murray seated nearby sprang up, performed the Heimlich maneuver and saved his life. “Thank you, thank you!” said the business- man. “Please, I insist on paying you. Just name the fee.” “OK,” said the doctor. “How about half of what you’d have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?” —facmedicine.com The worst job I ever had was as a forensic pathologist for the United Nations. I remember uncovering the mass grave of 1,000 snowmen. Fortu- nately, it turned out to be just a field full of carrots. —Comedian Milton Jones I called the tinnitus helpline, but it just keeps ringing. —Submitted by Dan Cusato I amwoman, watch me fit 94 bottles of sham- poo and 15 different body washes on my shower ledge. — @kryzazzy To bide their time on a long train trip, three priests agree to share their darkest secrets. “Once a month,” says the first priest, “I go on a bender and get blind drunk.” “I’ve gotten into gam- bling online,” admits the second priest. “Worse yet, I use Sunday collec- tion plate donations to fund my bets.” “And you,” the first priest says to the third, “what’s your chief vice?” “Me?” says the third priest. “I’m an inveter- ate gossip.” —Submitted by Gary Katz When a wealthy busi- nessman began to choke on a fish bone at a restaurant, a doctor “So, this is me.” reader ’ s digest cartoon by Will Santino/CartoonStock.com LAUGHTER The best Medicine 58 August/september 2026 2022-2026 H o m e C a r e Q L D