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grandparents to babysit. I asked my nephew how old he was gonna be, and he said, “If the Lord sees fit, 10 in November.” — X @moad2712 As a mom of two needy toddlers, I struggle to find a moment of pri- vacy during the day. Recently, I found refuge in the bathroom. I was sitting quietly, enjoying a moment alone, when the door burst open. It was my 3-year-old. “Oh, I’m sorry, Mommy,” he said. “Do you want to be alone?” “Yes, honey, that would be very nice,” I said. With that, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. “There,” he said. “Now no one can bother us!” —Christine Paquette It took years, but I finally finished my family’s genealogical tree and sent off binders containing the informa- tion to my extended family. But when I vis- ited my mother, I was embarrassed to discover I’d sent her an incom- plete set. “I’m sorry, your set is missing some cousins,” I said. “I’ll send you a complete binder once I get home. “You already did,” she said. “I just took out all the people I don’t like.” —Deborah McCabe Stop leaving your children with their Guys, my husband just cured my anxiety. He said, “Just don’t worry about it.” OMG, why have I never tried that before?! — therealjohannariehm on Threads reader ’ s digest 28 may 2026 | readersdigest.com.au cartoon by Harley Schwadron LIFE TOXAWWW/GETTY IMAGES Candise Lin, a Chinese language and cultural instructor, says that American names don’t always translate well in China. See what some of our names mean when pronounced with Mandarin phonetics: Robin: Running Naked Benson: God of Dumb Nicholas: You Are So Stingy Isabella: The Doctor Got Arrested Martha: Fried Dough Twist —upworthy I was out for a walk in Manhattan when I noticed a man with a tail-wagging dog. I love dogs and I wanted to pet this one, so I asked the man whether his dog was friendly. “Yes,” he said, con- tinuing on his way. “But I’m not.” —Elizabeth Levine, from the New York Times I play in a senior softball league. After one game, a teammate and I were taking off our various leg wraps and mutter- ing about how we never used to need these devices. “My knees got so bad I wasn’t able to genuflect at Catholic Mass,” I said. “But after months of exercise and figuring out how to wrap my legs, I’m now able to genuflect with- out any issue.” My friend shrugged. “It would have been easier to convert to Lutheranism.” —Tim Kinsella My friend is not the best listener. Case in point: I referred to the old proverb, “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb,” and he replied, “What?” “Did you not hear what I said, or did you not understand my meaning?” I asked. His reply: “I didn’t hear anything after tiger .” —Susan Bush OH, NOT THAT AGAIN! Film buffs on Reddit insist these four movie cliches have got to go.  ) When someone tries to figure out a password, they’ll look around the room and be like, “Paris! Her favorite city, that must be her password!” And it works.  ) No one says goodbye before they hang up. How do movie characters always know the conversation is over?  ) How everyone being interviewed by the police at their job keeps working as though they couldn’t be bothered to stop, you know ... for a murder investigation!  ) That nobody seems to need to go to the bathroom. Ever. Let’s try ... Paris! your funny story could be published here! Send your stories to letters@ readersdigest.com.au Life