10 ways to conquer worry

Did you turn off the stove burner? Will your child get into university? What’s that rash on your hand? Worrying is a natural response to things that affect everyone at one time or another. But chronic worrying, the kind that never lets up, can be unpleasant, distracting and even harmful to our health and wellbeing, says Professor Kate Sweeny.  What to do about it? Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, give yourself a big dose of self-compassion and try these tips to clear your mind and worry a little less.

Chronic stress and indecision go hand in hand. What’s the connection with clutter? People who accumulate clutter tend to have trouble deciding what to do with their stuff. (“I’ll keep this catalogue/insurance form/magazine article until I can find the time to deal with it.”) A study in the Journal of Affective Disorders finds ” information processing deficits” in people who surround themselves with clutter. In other words, they worry so much they have a harder time making decisions.

How to unclutter your space and reduce worrying? Start with one small area and create rules. For example, vow to clear the kitchen bench every single night, even if that means piling the junk on another surface. Then add another rule: completely clean off the table. And another: clean out the sink. Continue until you can maintain several areas of your home without clutter, and hopefully your worrying will ease up.

Discover some useful way to declutter your mind.

Some research shows that hypnosis can be tremendously useful for people who worry too much. One 2018 study in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine found that hypnosis helps with a variety of health conditions, including anxiety and sleep. Other research suggests that hypnosis may be even more helpful at relieving anxiety than cognitive behavioural therapy. There are many benefits of hypnosis, and many ways to get them. To find a licensed psychologist certified in hypnosis, ask your family doctor or your regular psychologist for a referral, or consider one of the many free or low-fee hypnosis apps out there. One of them might offer you relief.

Worry is a primary characteristic of anxiety, which is often a by-product of a mind in overdrive.  The best approach to quiet the chatter in your mind and stop the worrying may be a form of simple meditation. Close your eyes and focus on your breath, ‘watching’ it flow in and out of your nostrils. If thoughts pop up about the groceries, the bills or the state of the economy, notice them and then redirect your attention to your breath. Keep doing this for 5 minutes. At first, you might spend 20 seconds truly focused on your breath and 4 minutes and 40 seconds redirecting your thoughts away from your worries, but that ratio should improve with practise.

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If mindfulness isn’t your thing, another great option is to identify flow activities in your own life, says Sweeny. These are activities that completely absorb your attention, diminishing self-awareness and allowing time to fly by. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology suggests that ‘flow’ may be more important than money or success for personal wellbeing. For example, video games are great for creating flow states, but so are lots of other activities: gardening, organising a cupboard, accomplishing something for your job, using a language-learning app, etc. It’s different for everyone.

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Worrying can actually increase your appreciation for life, says Sweeny. “Worry has upsides,” she points out. “It motivates us to avoid bad outcomes when possible and prepare for them when they’re unavoidable. For example, research shows that people who worry more about car accidents are more likely to wear a seatbelt, and people who worry more about breast cancer get screened more on the recommended schedule. Worry draws our attention to something bad that might be coming, and it gives us the boost of motivation we need to do something about it.” A 2017 study published in Social and Personality Psychology Compass found that worrying makes you think about possible bad outcomes so you prepare for them in a way that makes you feel that you’ve taken action.

One way to put positive thinking into practice is to keep a gratitude journal,  which can help alleviate worrying. Make the entries detailed and specific. Instead of writing ‘I’m grateful for my family,’ write ‘I’m grateful that my granddaughters came for dinner tonight. I love to watch them learn how to use proper manners. I’m grateful they live nearby so I can watch them grow up.’ Over time, doing this routinely should help eliminate some worry. A 2018 study published in Psychotherapy Research found that people who wrote gratitude letters for four weeks reported significantly better mental health than those who didn’t write thankful notes.

Worriers need a place to deposit their negative thoughts, too. Keep a small memo pad handy, and whenever you feel yourself starting to worry about something, open it and write down everything that’s concerning you, without thinking about how you’re saying it or whether you’ve said it a thousand times before. Some people find that putting thoughts on paper can help break a repetitive cycle of worry, which can deplete your capacity for performing other cognitive tasks. Like earlier research, a 2017 study published in Psychophysiology found that ‘expressive writing’ about worries can reduce the size of the negative wave signal in people who worry a lot.

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Don’t try to talk yourself out of mental stress or pretend it’s not there. Instead, look inward and label how you’re feeling. You might say ‘nervous’ or ‘anxious,’ objectifying the emotion as a scientist would. With practice, this technique has been shown to help people head off the cascade of negative emotions that comes from stress. “Mindfulness labelling is great for counteracting worries. It helps you to stop thinking about future possibilities and instead focus on what’s true now, in the present moment. It also helps you to notice your emotions rather than letting them take over without you even realising it,” says Sweeny.

If you’re going through a stressful period or you tend toward anxious thoughts, a personal mantra can help you refocus your mind on positive thoughts, says Sweeny. To create yours, make a list of the three things that matter to you most. Then think of one word that represents each. Choose positive, powerful words that resonate deeply with you. Let’s say your top three things are a close family, good health, and the environment. Your mantra could become, “Love, strength, Earth.” Whenever you are presented with a challenging situation, recite your mantra in your head.

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