Up in smoke
“There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide.”
This pithy warning, offers a pretty convincing reason not to light up in the bathroom – you wouldn’t want to become a ridiculous reason for a flight delay!
“Please be careful when opening overhead bins because, you know, shift happens.”
Every flight has someone announce to beware that items in the overhead bin might have shifted during the flight, but this flight attendant knows the funniest way to say it.
Flying in style
“In the event that this flight becomes a cruise, all of you lucky people get your own itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikinis beneath your seat – minus the itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, and you get no polka dots…The beautiful bikini is equipped with a water-activated light. How in the world that works, I have no idea, so if you figure it out please do let me know.”
This flight attendant on Frontier Airlines totally gets how unsightly and confusing those rubbery, bright yellow life vests are. We can’t tell you why they’re that colour.