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Up in smoke

Up in smoke
SHUTTERSTOCK, RD.COM

“There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide.”

This pithy warning, offers a pretty convincing reason not to light up in the bathroom – you wouldn’t want to become a ridiculous reason for a flight delay!

Shifty

Shifty
SHUTTERSTOCK, RD.COM

“Please be careful when opening overhead bins because, you know, shift happens.”

Every flight has someone announce to beware that items in the overhead bin might have shifted during the flight, but this flight attendant knows the funniest way to say it.

These small, lightweight items are valuable additions to your carry-on luggage and they could save your life.

Flying in style

Flying in style
SHUTTERSTOCK, RD.COM

“In the event that this flight becomes a cruise, all of you lucky people get your own itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikinis beneath your seat – minus the itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, and you get no polka dots…The beautiful bikini is equipped with a water-activated light. How in the world that works, I have no idea, so if you figure it out please do let me know.”

This flight attendant on Frontier Airlines totally gets how unsightly and confusing those rubbery, bright yellow life vests are. We can’t tell you why they’re that colour.

Career switch

Career switch
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“My colleague on my right-hand side, his name is Steve Moore…He’s had a long and distinguished career with the Royal Air Force, spanning some decade or more, but luckily for us, he got rather bored of being a chef and has decided to take up flying.”

Nice misdirect!

 

Not a turn-on

Not a turn-on
SHUTTERSTOCK, RD.COM

“If you need an additional reading light, just push the button above your head with the lightbulb on it. That’ll turn the light on. However, if you push the button above your head with the flight attendant on it, it does not turn us on.”

This  announcer wanted to cleverly and hilariously put a stop on some of the more questionable things you should avoid saying to your flight attendant.

Read on for more things you should never say to flight attendants.

A punny way to calm passengers

A punny way to calm passengers
SHUTTERSTOCK, RD.COM

“That was quite a bump, and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

According to wanderings.net, this announcement came after a particularly bumpy landing in Salt Lake City. The attendant clearly wanted to make sure people knew what was really ‘at phalt’. We see what you did there, you phunny phlight attendant, you!

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Source: RD.com

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