Putting your orgasm solely in your partner’s hands
It’s good sex-tiquette to focus on pleasuring your partner, but when it comes to enjoying sex nobody knows your body better than you do. Don’t rely solely on your partner to help you orgasm – that causes unnecessary stress on your partner and sets you up for disappointment, says Erica Basso, a couples therapist in Santa Monica, California. Feel free to take matters into your own hands, literally or figuratively.
Believing that sex is dirty or shameful
Too many people, especially women, grow up believing that sex is dirty and “good girls” don’t want sex – and those beliefs can really hurt you in the bedroom, Basso says. This simply isn’t true and if you need help resolving these feelings, a good therapist can help you work through them.
Skipping the condoms because you’re in a relationship
It’s not just teenagers that “forget” to use a condom; plenty of adults don’t practice safe sex, says Kevin Darné, sex expert and author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany). But condoms are still the best way to avoid STDs and even if you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship, you should still think about birth control, he says, adding that too often people will skip contraception on the assumption that they’re sterile, whether that’s from age, prior infertility or some other reason.