Begin the discovery phase
This is the fourth and final phase of the forgiveness model. During it, you’ll find meaning in what you’ve suffered. “Typically, people are more aware of the wounds in the world,” says Enright. “They become more patient with people who might be having a bad day; they see that people are walking around wounded all the time, and they’re generally more aware of others’ pain and want to be a conduit for good.” And once you’ve got that worldview, you can begin to thrive in life again.
Repeat, repeat, repeat
Since you likely didn’t start this process with the person who’s hurt you most, you’ll have to repeat the pathway on each person you’re hoping to forgive. Enright suggests keeping a journal or enlisting a trusted friend or family member to keep you on the path. It helps to set aside around 15 minutes a few times a week to work on the process, but it’s all about quality over quantity.
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