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Getting a divorce

Getting a divorce

Divorces can get really messy is you let them. Read the tips below to try to make this huge life change as smooth a process as possible.

Treat it like a business deal

Treat it like a business deal
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“Take your heart out of the process, says Karen L. “Remember, your lawyer is not your friend; he is your legal counsel. Period.”

Be aware of these 20 things you should never do after a breakup. 

Try to have a good relationship with your ex

Try to have a good relationship with your ex
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“Keep in mind that your kids are not involved in the demise of the relationship, they are always the mother and fathers’ children no matter what,” says Stephanie M. “Keeping the children out of the parents’ relationship is an effort that needs to be both parents’ priority. This is something that should be addressed before the children are told about the change that’s about to happen in their lives.”

Your actions will impact your children

Your actions will impact your children
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“I wish I had known how much my resentments and the hurts that I had not dealt with and let go of impacted my daughter’s life after the divorce,” says Phil R. “Life was, and sometimes is still, hard but we have all grown through the pain.”

If you’re looking to let go of resentment, follow these 12 proven steps to truly forgive anyone for anything.

Don’t be afraid to do it

Don’t be afraid to do it
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“Staying in a marriage for 22 years was such a waste of precious years,” says Liz B. “I was fearful of leaving because my ex threatened that if I did I would lose my daughter. Knowing now what I know about child custody, that would not have happened. My daughter deserved a better, calmer and less chaotic home.”

On the other hand, make sure you’re just having 13 normal fights even healthy couples have. 

There will still be co-parenting differences

There will still be co-parenting differences
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“Our biggest challenge with marriage has been over the differences in parenting styles,” says Randy U. “We fought about everything from respecting the privacy of the master bedroom to being accountable for chores.” And those arguments don’t stop just because you’re now divorced.

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Keep financial records

Keep financial records
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“I wish I would have had in-depth knowledge of financial assets and debts including insurance policies, business worth and stock accounts,” says Lisa H.

Listen to your instincts

Listen to your instincts
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“I got divorced because my ex was drinking early morning through the night. Then he would pick a fight when he’d had too many,” says Gilly H. “I didn’t want my young children growing up with that.” But whatever the reason, listen to your instincts, she says. “Make plans to work and support yourself and your kids. Be self-sufficient, but get family and local support too if you can. Work hard and your kids will love and respect you, even if you are a single parent.”

Watch out for these tell-tale signs your relationship could become abusive.

There’s love after divorce

There’s love after divorce
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“It doesn’t matter your age or number of children, there are lots of good, single people out there,” says Erin O. “Women especially are told that once we become a certain age, we are no longer ‘marriage material’, whatever that is. Don’t buy into that. If what you want is marriage again, then you will find it!”

But don’t date after divorce without doing these 11 things first. 

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Source: RD.com

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