RDAU_10-11_Oct_Nov Issue

our 54-year marriage. Before I could respond about loving and hon- oring each other, my beloved significant other replied, “Neither of us has died.” —Jeanne Hewitt My daughter, visiting from Florida, was shocked as we drove past a cannabis shop in town. “It’s legal here now,” I told her. Appalled, she said, “It’s legal to eat people?” I set her straight: “The sign says ‘canna- bis,’ not ‘cannibal.’” —Christine Mazzitelli “True terror,” it’s been written, “is to wake up one morning and dis- cover that your high school class is running the country.” In honor of the new school year, Hungry after a morning at the Maryland shore, I stopped off for a quick bite at a seafood stand. “Excuse me,” I said to the server, “how many oysters are in the fried oyster basket?” “It varies depending on how big the oysters are,” she explained. “But don’t worry. It’s a good amount.” “You’ve sold me,” I said. “I’ll have the fried oyster basket.” “Sorry, we’re out of oysters.” —Kathy Squires Someone recently asked my husband and me what the secret was to “I’m your hip replacement.” My husband planned back-to-back activities for us this weekend like he forgot we’re both introverts. — @kristabellerina reader ’ s digest 36 OctOber/NOvember 2026 cartoon by Kaamran Hafeez/CartoonStock.com LIFE