Spend time alone first
When you’re used to married life, being single can be scary. But spending some time alone will help you figure out who you really are when you’re not attached to anyone, says dating coach Laurel House. “In a marriage, you are a slightly different person,” she says. “As much as we want and try to maintain our identity, the reality is that’s not always the case.” Take time to figure out how your old relationship changed you, and who you are now. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with being alone. Embrace the single life by going to bed early or seeing a movie by yourself, says House.
Make sure you’ve totally moved on
Before you can start a new relationship, you have to be completely over your ex. Allow yourself time to grieve over your marriage and heal, says licensed marriage and family therapist Dr Kate Campbell. “If you’re still having a strong emotional reaction when you hear their name, or stalking them on Facebook, that should be a sign you’re not ready.”
Figure out what went wrong before
Even if you think your ex drove the split, take a step back to see how your actions affected it. “I’m not saying you are at fault, I’m not saying that you need to take responsibility for everything – it’s just taking responsibility for your contribution,” says House. Maybe you stopped putting in effort when the marriage started going downhill, or maybe you let little things get under your skin too quickly. By addressing your past mistakes, you can set a new relationship up for success.