I quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
Comedian Stewart Francis
Curse correction
After stepping out for a few minutes from the Grade 1 classroom where I teach, I returned to a chorus of children tattling: “Brendan said the B-... read more
Submitted by Ronda Henry
Check mate
When my sister was in high school, she went out with the captain of the chess team. My parents loved him because they figured any guy who took... read more
Comedian Brian Kiley
Fudging the forecast
I used to work in an Air Force Satellite Control Facility, where we would hold regular status briefings for department heads. On one occasion, a... read more
Submitted by George Kreider
Fossil fool
Overheard in a museum’s dinosaur exhibit recently: a confused woman complaining to her friend, “How could they possibly know the names of all... read more
Submitted by Megan Lloyd
Desk jockeys
The pressures of work can bring out the weirdness in people. Check out these real-life exchanges from overheardintheoffice.com:
Whoever said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks was so wrong. I taught mine how to play dead and she’s been doing it for a year straight.
Corey McAuley (@heytherecore) on Twitter
Lumps and bumps
Saving for a new car on a teacher’s salary takes a while, so in the meantime I borrowed a friend’s old car that was so beat up, even its dents had... read more
Spanner in the works
I wish I knew who kicked the jack out from under the car I was working on. The suspension is killing me.