13 signs you’re dealing with a psychopath

While it’s easy to label an unpleasant colleague or an adulterous ex a psychopath, how can you tell the difference between someone truly psychopathic and someone who’s just a jerk? A proper diagnosis can only be given by a medical professional. “Anything else is speculation,” warns associate professor of criminology, criminal justice and forensic psychology, Dr Robert Schug.

Read on for the most chilling psychopaths in history.

A psychopath is not just under-stimulated because of an uneventful day at work or a weekend night stuck at home. They face chronic boredom across all facets of their lives. One common hypothesis is that psychopaths are more likely to be under-aroused compared to other people. “A psychopath’s nervous system is wired so they need to keep doing exciting things to feel normal and reach normal levels of arousal,” says Schug. According to psychology professor, Dr Randall Salekin, this means that they’re also the ones in a group most likely to initiate fun-oriented activities, such as suggest post-work drinks.

Perhaps one of the most disarming aspects of interacting with psychopaths is their ability to conceal their true selves in order to appear as likable as possible. Salekin says that they use their storytelling abilities to draw others to them, whether that’s at work or in jail. “They’re able to gather a crowd around them at the water cooler,” he says. However, while a psychopath’s stories might be interesting, that doesn’t mean they’re true.

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Unlike pathological liars, who lie without motivation and sometimes without need, a psychopath’s lies are more goal-directed. They typically use conning and manipulation for their own gain. “It’s more about getting something from somebody else,” says Schug. He explains that they do this by tricking others or making people think there’s an emotional connection. This could be used to get a promotion at work, build a relationship, or control a romantic partner.

Check out these clues anyone can use to spot a liar.

While psychopaths are goal-driven, many take a carpe diem approach to long-term planning. They believe they need to live in the moment instead of planning for the future, although what goals they do have often are disconnected from any probable future. They have an inability to ground their understanding of their lives in reality. “If you speak with them in jail, they might say they want to be an astronaut, a ninja, or an FBI agent,” says Schug. “Their goals are totally out of line with the situation.”

Psychopaths consider themselves better than the people around them. This may help account for why they aren’t concerned by the negative impacts of their actions. In the workplace, this can manifest as someone who is “not concerned about the team and is reluctant to take advice from others until it immediately helps him or her,” says Dr Salekin. This could look like overly confident, dominant behaviour, or it could be masked around those the psychopath believes are beneficial to his or her success, such as someone capable of offering advice.

A psychopath is typically not concerned with his or her impact on others, whether that be financial, social, or personal. That’s mainly because a psychopath has blunted emotions, for themselves and others. In fact, the inability to show much emotion is part of the American Psychological Association’s definition of a psychopath. The group notes that these people are “characteristically superficially charming but lack empathy, anxiety, or any sense of blame or guilt.” Interestingly, while psychopaths normally do lack empathy, they can voluntarily turn it on in order to seduce, charm and manipulate someone else.

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A real psychopath is someone who displays excessive anger no matter who they’re with or what they’re doing. “In terms of domestic violence, you’ll see physical or verbal aggression over and over again,” says Schug. “Outside of a relationship, they might have road rage or be constantly getting into arguments.” Noticing this sign might be harder than it sounds: a psychopath’s charm usually covers his or her anger tendencies. “They can turn mean, but only if challenged or someone gets in the way of their goal,” says Salekin. “Otherwise, it’s all charm.”

With their ability to charm unsuspecting victims, psychopaths can lure unsuspecting people into bed but aren’t interested in commitment, or anything beyond the immediate thrill. Sex for the psychopath is not about the other person, but more about the power play or stroking his or her own ego.

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This impulsivity or irresponsibility can manifest in many ways, whether it’s risking a relationship by cheating, being reckless with their finances, or even breaking the law. “Psychopaths are more likely to get DUIs or not pay child support,” says Schug.