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Please take the shower soaps

Please take the shower soaps
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We love it when you steal the soap, shampoo and lotion. That’s why we put our logo on them. But pillows, bedspreads and irons? We’re billing your credit card.

Keep it down

Keep it down
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Even the best hotels aren’t totally soundproof, and I’m the one who has to send the security guard up to knock on your door when someone complains.

For something completely different, check into 25 of the world’s strangest and most unique hotels.

Save the Wi-Fi bill for checkout

Save the Wi-Fi bill for checkout
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It’s a lot easier for me to remove Wi-Fi charges from your bill at checkout than to agree to waive them in advance.

Learn the 13 things smart travellers always do before a flight. 

Hourly rates aren’t a good sign

Hourly rates aren’t a good sign
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No, we don’t have an hourly rate. You don’t want to be at a hotel like that anyway.

Most of us are happy to help

Most of us are happy to help
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If you ask us to, we’ll tell callers you’re not registered at the hotel, or tell you where to park so you can’t see your car from the interstate. But we’re also talking behind your back about what you might be hiding.

Always request clean linens when you check in

Always request clean linens when you check in
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We wash the sheets every day, but blankets often only get washed once a week. And the bedspreads? If there’s no visible stain, it’s maybe once a month.

Learn the 10 things aeroplanes aren’t cleaning as they should.

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In this economy, everything is negotiable

In this economy, everything is negotiable
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If your hotel offers a hot breakfast buffet as well as a free continental breakfast, ask if you can get the hot breakfast with your room. Very rarely will we tell you no.

If you travel frequently, use the same hotel each time

If you travel frequently, use the same hotel each time
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Get to know the staff. Regulars are recognised and treated as VIPs. You could get free upgrades, discounts and more.

Never use the long distance calling feature

Never use the long distance calling feature
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Unless you want to pay $10 for a five-minute call, it’s best to specifically ask for it to be turned off. We’ve had situations in which housekeepers have made calls from a guest’s phone.

If you request a king bed, there’s no guarantee

If you request a king bed, there’s no guarantee
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No matter how confident the reservations agent sounds, call the hotel directly and make the request again a few days before you travel. Then do it again on the day of. If we still don’t have one when you get there and you’re nice about it, we may comp your breakfast or upgrade you to a suite.

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