Keep your relationship discreet
Until you feel secure within it. Once you do, tell them sooner rather than later as the longer you keep things secret, the more you run the risk of your children finding out another way. If you tell your son or daughter that you are seeing someone as part of an informal normal conversation, it will give them time to get used the idea. It will also give them time to ask any questions they may have. Share information about your new partner with your children, his/her background, occupation, their children and their family background. Talking about the relationship and how it’s progressing will make them feel a part of the getting to know each other process.
Make sure your children are a priority
Even grown-up children can feel threatened by your new relationship and the additional complications it may bring. One couple I know who fell in love and married, eventually divorced as their respective children did not get on. The parenting styles and values the teenage children had grown up with were completely different and neither could relate to the other.
Talk with your partner about your children and ask them about theirs
Find out if they share a common interest, as this can be a great help in the bonding process. What do they do for a living, their personalities, interests and hobbies? This way knowing a little about them will make it easier for the conversation to flow when they eventually meet up in person. If there are any sensitive topics of conversation that are best avoided, maybe your son or daughter is having a relationship, work or health problems. If so, warn your new partner. I know it can be difficult as it’s a fine line but don’t tell them too much either. You may trust the new person in your life, but they are a stranger to your children and it can be unnerving for your son or daughter if your partner knows too much personal information about them.