Give yourself the gift of time
“When I was growing up my mum always made a big deal about wanting to spend time with us instead of getting gifts. For her, that meant spending an afternoon planting flowers together and talking. Now that my mother has passed and I’m a mother myself, I’ve followed her example of asking for gifts of time rather than things. I’m not as much of a gardener so I ask my family to do something outdoors with me. My favourite Mother’s Days have been spent hiking, playing mini golf and going kayaking. It’s the perfect way to remember her and to stay true to myself as well.” —Mary R, 52
Remember that mother-child relationships are complicated – and any way you feel about the day is totally appropriate
“There are so many situations that don’t fit into the ‘my mother is amazing and I am so happy to have her’ or the ‘I am so sad she’s no longer here’ scenarios and that can make Mother’s Day very difficult for many women. Plus, on the other side of the equation, mothers themselves are pressured to fit a mould so precise that if they don’t then they feel like failures too. If you have a mum (or are a mum) who is dealing with depression, anxiety, addiction, or other life problems know that it’s okay to feel conflicted, sad, angry or any other emotion on Mother’s Day. Your feelings are legitimate and understandable.” —Karen Anderson, author of The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide to Separating From A Difficult Mother.
Share your memories of your mum with others
“Unfortunately I lost both my parents at a relatively young age and my children were just 5 and 7 at the time, so they have very few, if any, memories of them. So every year for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day I pull out the family photo albums, sit my kids down, and retell the stories behind all the pictures. As they get older they ask more questions which usually leads to more stories, making for a fun afternoon filled with happy memories. I want to make sure my kids always feel like they know my parents, even if they don’t remember them.” —Robin E, 40