34 of the funniest excuses ever uttered

“I got caught texting in class and told my teacher I forgot I was at school.”

Check out these hilariously good comebacks you’ll wish you knew before.

I was an hour late for my appointment at the sleep-disorder clinic. My excuse: “I overslept.” — Lou Fleury

“I lost my homework fighting a kid who said you weren’t the best teacher ever.”

I had someone call into work saying that they were going to be late. Why? Because they were at home sleeping but dreamed they were at work so they didn’t realise they had to get up.

I was in the middle of grading my students’ homework, and my husband and I decided we were hungry. So I left all the papers organised in neat piles, and we ducked out. I returned an hour later to discover that my puppy had found the papers. The next day, I called three of my students over to my desk to explain why I was giving them all 100 on their assignments: “My dog ate your homework.” — Joanne Beer Las Cruces

“I can’t do cross country today because I hurt my finger.”

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I recently invited neighbours over for dinner. When they were about an hour late, I gave them a buzz to see what time we might expect them. The wife was nonplussed. “Oh,” she said. “I thought that was last night.” — Jim Godfrey Freeport

In a Year 8 health class, we were doing a “baby” project with bags of sugar, I forgot mine at home and my excuse was “It’s Take Your Grandson to Work Day.”

A student of mine claimed he didn’t have his homework because it had fallen into a pile of snow and was quickly covered by a snow plow. Of course, I didn’t believe him. Still, I gave him credit for concocting such an original excuse and allowed him to redo the assignment.

Two months later, after the snow melted, he presented me with the ragged folder containing the faded original version of his homework. — Michael Lorinser

My roommate’s excuse for not being able to wash her dishes: “I’m allergic to hot water.”