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When your clothes are a little rumpled

When your clothes are a little rumpled
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When your family jokes about you being over the hill

When your family jokes about you being over the hill
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Birthdays are good for you. Studies show that people who have the most of them live the longest.

Here are 45 tips that will help you live to 100 – and love it!

When you’re not a morning person

When you’re not a morning person
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I always say “Morning” instead of “Good morning”—if it were a good morning, I’d still be sleeping and not talking to people!

When those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind

When those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind
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It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

When it’s time to get a haircut

When it’s time to get a haircut
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I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Here are 9 things you do to your hair that a stylist wouldn’t.

When someone won’t stop complaining

When someone won’t stop complaining
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Cancel my subscription—I don’t need your issues.

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When you need a break

When you need a break
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When your kid is bugging you

When your kid is bugging you
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Want to know what it’s like to have the best kid in the world? You’ll have to ask Grandma and Grandpa.

These hilarious true stories show how funny parenting can be.

When someone calls you crazy

When someone calls you crazy
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I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

When those pithy phrases have their limits

When those pithy phrases have their limits
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Whatever you’re doing, always give 100 percent. Unless you’re donating blood.

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