A new member of staff called John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at the same time. “That’s incredible,” says John. “Trust a geek to use two keyboards at [...]
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Hair brained
I’d just like to say to any women out there having trouble keeping their hair out of their eyes: get a grip.
Brain strainer
I just poured some superglue into a non-stick frying pan. Someone’s about to be proved wrong.
Different wavelengths
I said to my boyfriend recently, “You know, we’ve been together for four years – I think it’s about time we started talking about the future.” I thought he was going to run for the hills – but he didn’t. He just smiled at me. Then he went, [...]
Are you game?
Two hunters hired a pilot to fly them deep into the wilderness to look for deer. After bagging six large bucks, they were loading the plane to return when the pilot said, “Hold on. This aircraft is only rated to carry four deer.” The two men [...]
Cyber dick
I enrolled in an online school to become a private investigator. I gave them my money, and then I never heard back from them. I thought: Either I just got ripped off, or this is my first case.
Vows of silence
I love being married. When I was single, I got so sick of finishing my own sentences.
Youth versus experience
A fit young man on a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. After several minutes, one of the older workmen had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “One [...]
Fill er up
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ll be $10,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you [...]
Pour joke
There’s probably an easier way to pour milk out of a carton that doesn’t involve ripping the top off and spilling it, but I refuse to cut corners.
School of life
A woman walked with her young child to school. When she got there, she heard the teacher whisper to another, “That child looks like a dog!” Outraged, the woman told the teacher she was going to report her to the headmaster. As the woman and her [...]
Impolite policing
A police officer stopped at a farm and told the old farmer, “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.” The farmer said, “OK – as long as you don’t go in that field over there.” The policeman sneered nastily. “I think you’ll find, [...]
First world problems
Sometimes I text “haha” and my iPhone autocorrects it to “HAHAHAHA” based on a past time I laughed harder at a funnier joke.
How to kick a sugar addiction without missing the sweet stuff
Have a yo-yo relationship with sugar? You're not alone. Here's how to break up with sugar for good – so you can finally stop those midnight cookie cravings.
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