34 things your airline pilot won’t tell you

• Blue juice: The water in the lavatory toilet. “There’s no blue juice in the lav.”
• Crotch watch: The required check to make sure all passengers have their seatbelts fastened. Also: “groin scan.”
• Crumb crunchers: Kids. “We’ve got a lot of crumb crunchers on this flight.”
• Deadheading: When an airline employee flies as a passenger for company business.
• Gate lice: The people who gather around the gate right before boarding so they can be first on the plane. “Oh, the gate lice are thick today.”
• George: Autopilot. I’ll let George take over.”
• Landing lips: Female passengers put on their “landing lips” when they use their lipstick just before landing.
• Pax: Passengers.
• Spinners: Passengers who get on late and don’t have a seat assignment, so they spin around looking for a seat.
• Two-for-one special: The plane touches down on landing, bounces up, then touches down again.
• Working the village: Working in coach.

I may be in uniform, but that doesn’t mean I’m the best person to ask for directions in the airport. We’re in so many airports that we usually have no idea. – Pilot for a regional US carrier.

Do pilots sleep in [the cockpit]? Definitely. Sometimes it’s just a ten-minute catnap, but it happens. – John Greaves. They should try these 7 surprising ways to get more sleep.

One time I rode in the jump seat of a 747 freighter, which carries cargo, not passengers. As soon as the doors closed, the first officer went in back and put on a bathrobe and slippers. No kidding. He said, ‘I’ll be damned if I’m going to wear a tie for a bunch of boxes.’ – Tech pilot at a US regional airline

Remember this before you complain about the cost of a ticket: fares today are about the same as they were in the 1980s. – Patrick Smith. Haven’t had enough? Here are 13 more things airlines won’t tell you.

Source: RD.com