Funny Halloween jokes
Halloween might primarily be a scary holiday, but that doesn’t mean it’s not also pretty darn funny. While you’re coming up with the best ideas for Halloween costumes, get a laugh (and maybe some inspiration!) from these silly Halloween jokes, which poke fun at your favourite ghosts and ghouls. They’re not so scary when you can laugh at them, right?
Funny Halloween jokes
Q: What’s a ghoul’s favourite drink?
A: Anything with boos.
Q: What are a monster’s favourite pets?
A: Creepy crawlies.
Q: What did people say when the Headless Horseman started dating a zombie?
A: He’s lost his head!
Q: What is a mummy’s favourite sandwich?
A: A head cheese wrap.
Q: What’s in a ghost’s nose?
A: Boo-gers.
Q: What does a panda ghost eat?
A: Bam-BOO!
Q: What do ghosts use to do their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream.
Q: What do Italian ghosts have for dinner?
A: Spook-hetti!
Q: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A: “Spook when you’re spooken to.”
Q: What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry?
A: Spooktacles.
Q: Why do female ghosts go on a diet?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figure.
Q: Where does a ghost go on holiday?
A: Mali-boo.
Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them.
Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
A: Sham-boo!
Q: What’s a monster’s favourite show?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
Q: What’s a mummy’s favourite way to relax?
A: Solving cryptograms.
Halloween dad jokes
Staying in on the big night this year? Cue up one of these Halloween movies for spooktacular chills and thrills.
Q: What do you get when you put a spider on an ear of corn?
A: A cobweb.
Q: What do you call a spider with 20 eyes?
A: A spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.
Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it and the user does not see it. What is it?
A: A coffin.
Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.
Q: What is a pause in work at a mortuary called?
A: A coffin break.
Q: What kind of monster loves to disco?
A: The boogieman.
Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
A: He was already stuffed.
Q: Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid to cross the road?
A: He had no guts.
Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.
Q: Are any Halloween monsters good at maths?
A: No—unless you Count Dracula!
Q: How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.
Q: Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
A: He felt rotten.
Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
A: Because there are so many plots there.
Q: What genre of music does a mummy like the best?
A: Wrap!
Q: Where do ghosts like to travel on holiday?
A: The Dead Sea.
Q: Why are zombies so hard to understand?
A: They’re very crypt-ic.
