These dogs jokes will hit your punny bone.
Q: What do you call sleeping puppies?
A: Hush Puppies
It was raining cats and dogs the other day.
I almost stepped in a poodle.
Q: What’s the coolest dog?
A: A pup-sicle
Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
A: Because frost bites
Q: Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple?
A: A New Yorkie
Q: Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
A: Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”
Old dog jokes, new tricks
I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought Wow, dogs are so easily entertained. Then I realised I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Q: What do you call a magic dog?
A: A labra-cadabra-dor
Q: What trick did the loaf of bread teach the dog?
A: Roll over!
I named my dog Stay, so I can say, ‘Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!’
—Steven Wright, comedian
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
Q: Why is it called a litter of puppies?
A: Because they’ll trash the place.
I asked my dog what he’d actually do if he caught the Fed Ex delivery person, and he admitted he hadn’t thought that part through yet.
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m The Beatles.
—Bill Maher, comedian
I refuse to take my dog on road trips anymore.
He can be such a bark seat driver.
You don’t have to save so your dog can go to college and then find out after they graduate that they want to be an actor.
—Jim Gaffigan, comedian
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.
Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets.
—Jerry Seinfeld, comedian
My dogs love me. Of course, by “love” I mean “poop” and by “me” I mean “everywhere”.
—Dana Gould, comedian