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Best one-liners ever

Best one-liners ever
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If you’re caught in an uncomfortable or annoying situation, sometimes the best way to get out of it is by laughing your way out. Memorise these witty one-liners and use them as necessary.

When someone presents a very questionable viewpoint

When someone presents a very questionable viewpoint
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I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

If you love funny sayings like these, read these clever, funny comebacks you’ll wish you knew before.

When you can’t stand to listen to someone for one. More. Second.

When you can’t stand to listen to someone for one. More. Second.
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I’m sorry, I have to go. You’re boring me to death and my survival instincts are kicking in.

Enjoy these funny limericks only clever people will get.

When Aunt Muriel asks when you’re going to have kids

When Aunt Muriel asks when you’re going to have kids
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I’m jealous of my parents. I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs, one who is smart, has devilishly good looks, and knows all sorts of funny sayings.

Here are 40 funny marriage quotes that might actually be true.

When someone makes a comment about your small stature

When someone makes a comment about your small stature
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You know what they say—dynamite comes in small packages.

Here are 20 words that make you instantly funnier.

When Beyoncé concert tickets go on sale

When Beyoncé concert tickets go on sale
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My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.

Maybe you need the 19 best money-saving tips from self-made millionaires.

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When someone calls you weird or strange

When someone calls you weird or strange
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That just means I’m a limited edition—I’m something you don’t see very often!

When you’re online-trolled by someone with terrible grammar and/or spelling

When you’re online-trolled by someone with terrible grammar and/or spelling
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I’d be offended, but I’m too busy mentally correcting your errors.

Find out the most expensive typos ever printed.

When you’re told to get your butt off the couch

When you’re told to get your butt off the couch
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I’m not lazy. I’m just very relaxed.

When someone is oversharing their vast knowledge

When someone is oversharing their vast knowledge
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Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

Check out these 19 search results that prove Google has a sense of humour.

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