My fruit and vegetable business has unfortunately gone into liquidation. We now sell smoothies.
If you hear this key four-word phrase when you pick up the phone, you could be about to lose your life savings.
A growing number of parents are learning they also have ADHD after witnessing their kids get diagnosed.
The worst thing about being a doctor for the World Health Organisation is people get annoyed when they find out you don’t have a Tardis.
I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named “Fireworks and vacuums” so my dog won’t find them.
I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.
I wish I knew who kicked the jack out from under the car I was working on. The suspension is killing me.
What’s the oddest thing about belonging to a support group for hypochondriacs? Every member calls in sick, but they all show up for the meeting.
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Fresh out of gift ideas, a man buys his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he buys her nothing, and immediately she yells at him. “What are you complaining [...]
“Do you want to hear a good Batman impression?” asked my friend Dave. “Go on then,” I replied. “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” he screamed. “That’s Superman,” I said. “Thanks, I’ve been practising,” he replied.
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was riveting.
A man approaches a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and says, “I’ve lost my wife in the aisles. Would you mind talking to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” the woman replies. [...]
Good news: your happiest years are still ahead of you. Science says so!
Prepare for your life to change forever.
I stayed in a hotel where the towels were so thick, I could hardly close my suitcase.