I’ve been told that when you meet the right person, you know immediately. How come when you meet the wrong person it takes a year and a half?
William came home from the doctor looking very worried. “What is it? asked his wife. “What’s the problem?” “Well, the doctor told me I have to take one of these pills every day for the rest of my [...]
A university football coach called out the new member saying, “Look, I’m not supposed to have you on this team because you failed your maths exams but we really do need you to play [...]
A man tells his doctor he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is over, he says, “OK, Doc. In plain English – what’s wrong with me?” [...]
A man was cruising on his motorbike up the California coast when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all [...]
There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole – he would dig, dig, dig. The other would come behind him and fill the hole – fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one [...]
When my sister was in high school, she went out with the captain of the chess team. My parents loved him because they figured any guy who took three hours to make a move was OK.
ALWAYS cry over spilled milk, NEVER pick the low-hanging fruit, and 7 more common sayings improved by science.
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A book fell on my head today. I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
It’s a ten-minute walk from my house to the pub. Weirdly, it’s a two-hour walk from the pub to my house.
An airline introduced a half-price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives who’d used the special [...]
A man sat on a train, chewing gum and staring vacantly across the aisle. Eventually, an old woman sitting opposite him leaned across the gap separating them. “It’s no good you speaking to me, [...]
Whatever your musical tastes, chances are there’s a music-themed cruise to suit you. But what is it all about?
Two elderly women out driving one day came to an intersection. The light was red, but they just carried on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself: “I must be losing it. I [...]
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bent and twisted 5-iron, standing over a lifeless man. A detective asks, “Is that your husband?” “Yes” replies [...]