After stepping out for a few minutes from the Grade 1 classroom where I teach, I returned to a chorus of children tattling: “Brendan said the B-word! Brendan said the B-word!” Perplexed, I took [...]
I was working in army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, “Just put [...]
I am the principal of an elementary school. One day a bigger boy was brought into my office for discipline. He had hit two kindergarten classmates on the playground and knocked them down. “He hit [...]
My real name is Wilton, but everyone at the plastics factory calls me “Dub”. And that’s where the confusion began. A woman from the front office came by with a form to fill out, but when she [...]
During a Pilates class, our thin instructor apologised to one of her larger students for blocking her view of the mirror . “Don’t worry,” the woman said to the teacher, “I can see myself on [...]
The best ever legal advice spotted on a billboard comes from an ad for the North Carolina law office of attorney Larry L. Archie: “Just because you did it doesn’t mean you’re guilty.”
My sister didn’t do as well on her driver’s-ed test as she’d hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: “When the _______ is dead, the car won’t start.” She [...]
Saving for a new car on a teacher’s salary takes a while, so in the meantime I borrowed a friend’s old car that was so beat up, even its dents had dents. I came out of school one day to find a [...]
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The pressures of work can bring out the weirdness in people. Check out these real-life exchanges from overheardintheoffice.com: Boss: You make too many mistakes! You’re not very consistent. [...]
A teenager came into the clothing store where I work and browsed for over an hour before choosing the perfect dress for a party. But the next day she was back with the outfit. “Can I please [...]
We were making leaflets for a local church, and the client wanted a logo designed with Earth being shielded by the hand of God. I sent the client a proof. Shortly thereafter, I got a call. [...]
I just found out my boss gets alerts every time I tweet, so I’d just like to say this meeting is top-notch – an all-time great meeting.
Recently, an elderly couple visited the interior design store where I work to request an estimate for reupholstering some furniture. They had no photos on hand, so I asked that they bring some [...]
While on manoeuvres in the desert, our convoy got lost – forcing our lieutenant to radio for help. “Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you?” the base operator asked him. “Yes,” [...]
A friend of mine works at a tattoo parlour. A client walked in and got a sentence tattooed on his back. A few hours later the customer called, demanding a refund. “You did my tattoo backwards,” [...]
