My husband recently answered his work phone and heard someone start a familiar pitch about upgrading his computer software. A few seconds later the other office line rang and it was another cold caller, this one trying to sell life insurance. [...]
Search results
A win's a win
We took our two teenage sons to a restaurant that was packed with fans watching a sporting event on TV. The harassed waitress took our order, but 30 minutes later there was no sign of our food. I was trying to keep my boys occupied when suddenly [...]
Cross wires
I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back. We tried “S123” several times, but it didn’t [...]
Time flies
A young man recently came to the clinic I work at for an MRI and was put into the machine by an equally young, blond technologist. When the examination was complete, he was removed from the MRI machine and greeted by a middle-aged, dark-haired [...]
Cringeworthy client requests
– The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it were a little more orange, like “blorange”. – We would very much like it if you did the work for free, but if not, we can pay you $20. – Looks good, but the logo is too large. Please make it 100 [...]
Backed into a corner
I was a medic in the army. One day, I woke up with terrible back pain. I went to the sick hall, where I was told I’d be taken to the hospital. After an hour, the captain came over. “Sorry for the delay,” he said. “But we can’t find the ambulance [...]
Take note
While rushing around the hospital, busy doctors can sometimes leave odd comments on their patients’ charts: – “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got divorced.” – “Is numb from the toes down.” – “Has two [...]
Daily grind
I recently asked a friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” “Yes, he wants to be a rubbish collector,” my friend said. “That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age,” I managed to reply. “Well,” said the [...]
Curse correction
After stepping out for a few minutes from the Grade 1 classroom where I teach, I returned to a chorus of children tattling: “Brendan said the B-word! Brendan said the B-word!” Perplexed, I took Brendan into the hall and asked him to tell me what [...]
Name dropper
I was working in army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, “Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard.” [...]
Stick-to-it-iveness
I am the principal of an elementary school. One day a bigger boy was brought into my office for discipline. He had hit two kindergarten classmates on the playground and knocked them down. “He hit us twice!” the boys said. “Is this true?” I [...]
Fell at the first hurdle
My real name is Wilton, but everyone at the plastics factory calls me “Dub”. And that’s where the confusion began. A woman from the front office came by with a form to fill out, but when she asked for my name, I wasn’t sure which one to give. [...]
Polite pilates
During a Pilates class, our thin instructor apologised to one of her larger students for blocking her view of the mirror . “Don’t worry,” the woman said to the teacher, “I can see myself on either side of you.”
The “L” is for “Loophole”
The best ever legal advice spotted on a billboard comes from an ad for the North Carolina law office of attorney Larry L. Archie: “Just because you did it doesn’t mean you’re guilty.”
Licenced to kill
My sister didn’t do as well on her driver’s-ed test as she’d hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: “When the _______ is dead, the car won’t start.” She wrote: “driver”.
Advertisement
Recommended for you
Radiant skin may start in your kitchen. From berries to avocados, these nutrient-rich foods help boost collagen, fight wrinkles and support healthy, youthful skin.
International Women’s Day traces its roots to labour strikes, revolution and suffrage movements—honouring women’s fight for equality, justice, voting rights and lasting social change worldwide.
Cooler days are ahead. Discover the key vitamins and nutrients that support your immune system—and why building healthy habits now could help you stay resilient in the months ahead.
The 98th Academy Awards are fast approaching, with the official ceremony taking place in Hollywood on March 15. With home premieres, it’s easy to immerse yourself in Academy fever from the comfort of your own home, before tuning into the glitz and glamour of the official ceremony. Other nominees can still be caught in cinemas around the country or can be seen on streaming services.
