Short and tweet

I just found out my boss gets alerts every time I tweet, so I’d just like to say this meeting is top-notch – an all-time great meeting.

Workin' nine to whatever

Recently, an elderly couple visited the interior design store where I work to request an estimate for reupholstering some furniture. They had no photos on hand, so I asked that they bring some next time. When they enquired about store hours, I [...]

AWOL

While on manoeuvres in the desert, our convoy got lost – forcing our lieutenant to radio for help. “Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you?” the base operator asked him. “Yes,” said the lieutenant. “We are directly under the moon.”

Time to reflect

A friend of mine works at a tattoo parlour. A client walked in and got a sentence tattooed on his back. A few hours later the customer called, demanding a refund. “You did my tattoo backwards,” he screamed down the phone. “It’s backwards?” my [...]

Synogyms

My friend sat down with a new client at her gym to review her application. For the question “To what do you attribute your fitness issues?” the woman had answered, “Horrendous eating habits.” “Why do you say that?” my friend asked. “Well,” she [...]

Sit, beg, roll over, make change

I was driving home recently when I stopped on impulse at a roadside vegetable stand. It was deserted expect for a sleeping German shepherd. I stepped carefully over the dog, grabbed some veggies, then opened up the cash box to leave some money. [...]

Switched on

I was telling a new friend about my degree in technical theatre with a major in lighting design when she looked at me and said, “So you’re paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?” I had to admit, she was right.

From the horse's mouth

After leaving my job, I was amazed to hear that one of my old colleagues, Alan, had been spotted with a new girlfriend. Alan had never shown any interest in romance, so this was big news. A mutual friend said the girl was very nice and chatty, [...]

Virtual reality

My husband, a computer-systems troubleshooter, was riding with me in my new car one afternoon when I stopped at a red light. I wanted to stay a safe distance from the crosswalk, but my husband impatiently waved at me to move forward, saying, [...]

Fudging the forecast

I used to work in an Air Force Satellite Control Facility, where we would hold regular status briefings for department heads. On one occasion, a young officer concluded his weather briefing with, “20 years ago, using manual methods, we could [...]

Thai coconut rice with seafood

This aromatic seafood and rice dish, combining the classic Thai flavourings of coconut, lime and ginger, makes a very tempting lunch. Thai jasmine rice is a naturally fragrant rice with a great texture - if you do not have any, basmati rice [...]

Vietnamese tofu and noodle salad

An exciting layered salad combines crisp vegetables flavoured with fresh herbs, noodles and marinated grilled tofu. The tofu is best prepared several hours in advance as longer marinating will enhance the delicious flavour.

No shortcuts

Being colour-blind excluded me from certain jobs in the US Marines – but I was so determined that my recruiter took pity on me, giving me a colour vision test book to memorise before taking the eye test. Later that week, I took the test and [...]

Yakitori domburi

Domburi is a Japanese dish, the name of which originally referred to the bowl in which it was cooked, and Yakitori domburi is traditionally a one-pot meal of chicken and rice. The addition of buk choy will increase your daily vegetable count.

Chinese seafood noodles

This Chinese seafood noodle dish is so simple and quick to make. In under 30 minutes you will have a delicious, healthy and low-fat meal.
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