Melon, fetta and orange salad

Here, the classic starter of melon and prosciutto is transformed into a tempting main-dish salad with the addition of fetta, cherry tomatoes, cucumber and oranges. Serve for lunch, with warm ciabatta bread to mop up the juices, or as a starter [...]

Braised duck with crunchy salad

Braising duck breast fillets in red wine with garlic and ginger, plus a little redcurrant jelly for sweetness, produces moist, tender and flavoursome meat. The duck is cut into strips and served on a colourful mixture of crisp raw vegetables and [...]

Stir-fried chicken and avocado salad

This is an excellent main dish salad, combining stir-fried strips of chicken and bacon in a hot piquant dressing with creamy avocado and sweet cherry tomatoes. It is perfect for when the weather starts to get cooler but you still want to eat a [...]

Graveyard savings

While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for family named Dingle.”

Name-calling

A husband who has six children begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. But after a few years, she’s grown tired of it. “Mother of six,” he would say, “what’s for dinner [...]

Snackable

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Class warfare

How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.

Eggs Benedict

Created in the 1920s at Delmonico's restaurant in New York City, this dish traditionally uses ham or bacon and a rich butter sauce. Here, a lower-fat yogurt and chive hollandaise contrasts with the richness of poached eggs and lean prosciutto, [...]

Getting results

A woman is feeling unwell, so she goes to her GP. He immediately spots the problem and says to her, “Take this red pill after breakfast with a glass of water.” “OK.” “Take this blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water.” “Ok.” “And take [...]

There's always a catch

A woman returning from a fishing trip with her husband told her troubles to a neighbour. “I did EVERYTHING wrong again,” she said. “I talked too loudly, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in to soon… and I caught more than he did.”

As young as you feel

As a retiree, I’m often asked what I do to fill my days. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town for a little shopping. After visiting one store for about five minutes, we emerged to find a cop writing out a parking ticket. [...]

Air line

At the airport, just as my flight was called, I noticed the guy next to me knew exactly what he was doing. He had his documents ready, he joined the queue with perfect timing and sauntered through the gate and onto the plane knowing exactly [...]

For the dads

Here are our Top Five 180, 181 that are so awful you have to love them… 1. How do you know when you’re going to drown in milk? When it’s past your eyes. 2. Struggling for gift ideas for mum this Christmas? Get her a fridge and watch her face [...]

Crawly Crime

A turtle was walking down a dark alley when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and [...]

Slipping quietly away

About a month before he died, my grandmother covered my grandfather’s back with lard. After that he went downhill very quickly.
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